Jasmine Hart

Hi, I really enjoyed this. It's beautiful and fresh. The unusual image at the start instantly drew me in, and the rhyme is very effective throughout. I love the repetition ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. This flows really easily and your use of alliteration and sibilance makes it musical and compliments the imagery. Your imagery ...

Hi, I love when pieces just come out of nowhere! This flows nice and easily and is an interesting piece. The tone is great and I think the layout is ...

Hey, Haha this was brilliant! I love the use of the fire at the start and the end; it was so funny and effectively opened and closed the poem. My ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. This is a really great idea and it flows beautifully. I love your description of the various characters, and it ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. Your imagery us beautiful and this flows really nicely. I really love; "suckling honey from her spectators". The last line ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! This flows really well and it made me smile. The rhyme is simple and effective. I like that it's to the point, but it may be ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. This flows really well. The opening question makes the reader want to read on. I'd make the "i" capital, and ...

Hey Jack, I love this, but what else is new? This also makes me insanely jealous,because you're the same age as me and this is so much better than anything ...

Hi, welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. I love the rhythm and rhyme here. The poem flows really well, and the personification is great. I love "cold ...

Hi, This flows nicely and you stick to the meter. I love the first line. I'm not sure about "fell down"-I know you're trying to fit the syllable requirement here, ...

Hi, I really enjoyed this.I love how the tone changes in the fourth line. I think "warmed" sounds odd, maybe just try "hot." I'd put a comma before "How" as ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. The emotion is conveyed very effectively here. I'd change "got" to "have", and add full-stops. I find it helps if ...

Hi, I really enjoyed this. I love how "I am annoyed" gradually builds up to "I am quite angry." I love; "My cat recognizes him," "He pauses, frowns at a ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. I really like the fragmented beginning. The poem flows very well as a whole. I'd change "edge" and "You drive ...